Today I was amazing.
I got the oldest to school on time, ran errands with the little ones, came home and scrubbed the whole house in time for a very important meeting with the banker, I folded (and PUT AWAY laundry) and as I type this, homemade supper is simmering on the stove.
Seriously, today I nailed it. Yesterday was the exact opposite.
A dear friend is struggling with life right now. She feels like she is sinking and that she is failing in every area of life; motherhood, marriage, and work.
Everywhere I look I see another post or article on how we need to rid ourselves of Mom guilt, and then another one on how to balance work and home life, and another on the need to let it all go. I have even written my own versions of such things.
Here is the truth. I am so over it.
I am over hearing how we need to do this and that to have balance and rid ourselves of the guilt. There is no such thing as doing it all. Somedays you kick butt, somedays you suck at life. That's the truth of it. There is no magic pill, we are all struggling and somedays are just better or worse than others.
We were not created to be perfect. We were created to live life, suffering the ups and downs that pull us towards needing to be saved. It's when we get so low and so down that we realize that this life is truly out of our control. It's when we are weeping on the bathroom floor that we so often realize that WE are simply not enough. When we turn ourselves over to God and admit that we cannot control any of it, we finally feel we have a sense of purpose, a sense of control.
Ironic isn't it, giving up control is when we find the best sense of control.
When we walk around pretending like we have it all together, we are doing everyone in our lives a disservice. I have struggled with this a lot lately. When people ask how I'm doing, part of me wants to lie and say, "Good! How about you?" But then I am faking it. I am pretending all is well, when really, I am having a hard time.
What if that person that asked me, is having a hard day, and when I lie, she feels inclined to say, "Oh yes I'm good too."
Instead what if we make ourselves vulnerable, and we tell the truth. "You know, I'm ok. Things are a little hard right now, but I know they'll get better." Then the friend might feel free to say, "Oh thank goodness I'm not the only one right now. Today feels like its never going to end. I'm glad I'm not alone."
Now I believe there is a fine line. No one wants to talk to the person who is always a downer and wants to tell you how bad life sucks all the time. But being honest and not pretending it is all sunshine and roses, opens yourself up to creating a safe place for someone else who could be struggling too.
Life is imperfect and somedays are going to be really awful, in fact sometimes, days will turn into weeks of misery. But if we look for the silver lining, it is there. There is always a ray of hope even in the darkest of times, a light that signals there is a break ahead.
Keep your head up, don't quit. Look for that friend that tells you its ok to fall apart, and it's ok to try again tomorrow.
Confess to all the world, you do not have it all together, you are imperfect and are striving to be better. Aren't we all just doing the same thing? We are putting one foot in front of the other, hoping to create a better world, either for ourselves, for our family, for the human race.
Be a ray of light for the people around you, but don't be afraid to show your own darkness. It might just be the darkness that lifts someone else up and frees them from their own burdens. We are all just stumbling through this life together and walking each other home.