Every day feels like I am working in circles and at the end of the day when I lay down, if you asked me what I did that day, I wouldn't be able to tell you.
My days are full with babies, naps, messes, kisses and cuddles. We also fight and cry and apologize over and over. It is a season for grace, a season for learning, a season for growing, but mostly it is a season for loving.
I've been told over and over by friends who's children have grown that the little years will go by fast. If I am honest, for a long time I couldn't wrap my head around that. The days just felt so long, and so hard.
But time is a fickle thing.
I am coming to realize that there will always be dishes, and laundry, and rooms to clean, but the days where they fight over who gets to sit next to me, or climb on my lap to read a book or just want me to hold them, will soon fade. Then I will be left with the laundry and the dishes and the rooms, but not the innocence of their love.
Now is the time, while they are open to my love, and eager to accept it, that I have to build that bond. Then when the love gets harder to do, they will have the foundation already there.
For a long time I've been thinking that if they just got a little older, then my work load would lighten, but now I realize it won't; it will only shift.
I will soon be raising young girls, and then teenagers, and those years will bring their own trials. The constant need for my physical presence, that feels so overwhelming right now, will soon no longer be a top priority.
I lay them down and watch them sleep, and in their beautiful little faces, I am beginning to see it. I see how the oldest looks more like a young lady than a toddler. I notice that my wild child is taller than she was a month ago. I see my youngest losing the newborn softness and rounding into a baby.
It is then, in the quiet that I am overcome with awe.
These exhausting days are a blessing. My children are an amazing gift, and the fact that I am able to raise them in a safe, loving home, is my gift to them.
I have been given the greatest responsibility in the world, to raise up these beautiful little people to be loving, kind, and honest.
It is no small thing to be charged with the work of raising children. I am going to pour out my love for them and know that whatever I do, as long as I love them, I am doing the best thing possible for them.
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old,
he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6