In the world of home design and home bloggers, I often see people striving for perfection, or at least an air of perfection.
A fear of showing their homes until they have reached perfection.
And it's in the everyday world we live in as well.
I suffer from it as much as anyone else. The "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" if you will; being embarrassed that your home somehow doesn't measure up to those of your peers, the peoples homes that seem perfectly organized, dusted and vacuumed. The homes without toys everywhere, and dirty dishes in the sink.
But really, how often do you drop in on someone's home? Usually there is a phone call in advance. There is a warning sounded that encourages the one you are visiting to scramble and hide the clutter and messes. The things that would let people know we are not 'perfect'.
A good friend of mine and I admitted that we did this a lot for one another. We would hear the other was coming and rush around hiding messes behind cabinet doors and stuffing unfolded laundry into the closet, lest someone know we had clean clothes that had yet to be taken care of.
But a while ago we realized that this silly fear of the other knowing our imperfections was keeping us from setting up play dates or spontaneously dropping by for a visit on a day when we just needed a friend to talk to.
So we made a deal, don't judge my mess and I won't judge yours.
So simple, and yet so life altering.
One day not long ago, in the middle of the mess that was pre-move, that same friend and her husband dropped by unexpected to see progress on the new house.
After a tour, we went back to our old house and I let go of my fears and invited them in. No pre-cleaning, no covering up my less than perfect messes.
They came in, we ate a delicious supper after together we cleared the bills off the table. We sat on the sofa and the chaise and didn't sit in the chair that was full of clean clothes waiting to be folded. We talked and laughed (and drank a little!) until nearly midnight.
And you know what?
It was great! We had a wonderful evening. They didn't care that the house was far from magazine worthy. They only cared that we got to enjoy a rare evening together just having fun.
The thing is, I normally would have been sick over the mess and it would have drove me nuts the whole time they were there and I would have spent a large part of the evening trying to tidy up, but I didn't because they knew we were moving. It made me feel like the mess was more acceptable.
My home will never be perfect. I will always have laundry to fold and toys to pick up. Right now there are boxes everywhere and few things are actually where they belong.
And it doesn't bother me.
The other day the Hub's mentioned someone might be stopping by and he asked if I would want them to see the house like this!? I laughed. Having just moved in a couple days ago of course it's a mess and of course I would love to have visitors! If I had been here for over a year and it looked like this I might feel different, but it's going to take a long time for me to find where I want things.
We haven't pushed anything back against the wall since we are still waiting on base trim, but that ok, last I checked people can sit on my couch that is two feet from the wall just as easily as one that is pressed back!
I don't want to feel different in a year though. In a year, when things have mostly found their home, and my home should be 'perfect', it won't be. I can guarantee there will be toys scattered around, dirty dishes in the sink, and laundry to be put away. It's my home, not a museum, we live and love here. We make messes, we clean them up and should someone stop by to say hello somewhere in between that, I will welcome them with a smile and a cup of coffee, or wine, depending on the hour :)
Let's not put off what could be a perfectly enjoyable visit for fear we might not appear perfectly put together. Let's accept one another for exactly who we are, whether that is pulled together or a little bit wild.
Let's get together for a visit!
Have a beautiful Friday!!